Kid Free Flights? They Ought To Ban Snoring Guy, Too

“We’re going on a plane, going on a play-ane!” sang my almost 5-year-old son Josh as we rushed through the airport at the crack of dawn Wednesday.

After herding three kids, with three suitcases, four backpacks and one car seat to the gate, I had aged ten years and was ready to forget the whole trip to Florida.

We boarded the plane, and my ornery two year old shouted “Leave me alone!” when I tried to nudge her down the aisle.

Yes, I saw the look of horror on your face, lady in 5B. And the couple in 11F, who thought our family of 5, might be in their row. Nice grandpa in 17B took a look at my face and said, “Wow, traveling with kids is a lot of work!”

You betcha, grandpa.

We squeezed onto the packed plane, threatened that there would be no desserts if anyone was loud and fired up the DVD player. I took the first sip of coffee all morning and glanced at the USA Today.

I'd sit with these kids over snoring guy any day

Smack on the front page was a graphic that showed a businessman on a plane, trying to read a paper, while a crazed baby seemed to be attacking him from behind and throwing a Sippy cup.

The headline: “Separate Sections, Anyone?”

The story was all about a growing movement to have kid free flights or have family sections on planes, so other passengers wouldn’t be bothered.

Interesting thought, as I glanced at my crew of 3, engrossed in Phineas & Ferb. I’d like to sit in a different section away from them. Kidding! Sort of.

Crying kids are annoying. I get it. I’ve been there as a singleton, begging the airline gods to seat the approaching child someplace else.

I’ve also been the sweating mother, super conscious of dirty looks, who has tried everything to make a crying child stop.

So, yes I get that kids can be annoying on flights.

But who gets to pick what’s annoying? Can I be on the committee?

Maybe the guy on the plane who falls asleep the instant you take off and proceeds to SNORE in your ear for the next three hours. THAT guy should be banned from the plane.

Or how about the person oblivious to personal hygiene rules? Who not only clips fingernails in his seat (seen it), but proceeds to take off his shoes and socks? I’d like a special section for those people, because that ruins my flight. And my appetite.

Perhaps all space invaders should be seated together. You know the ones who recline their seat back into your legs the instant they can. Or the person who hogs both arm rests. I find that highly annoying.

I’d vote for a special section for everyone who comes on the flight dripping with the latest flu, and spreads it throughout the entire cabin with every cough. Surely I’m not the only one annoyed by that.

See?

If airlines start making special sections for what people perceive to be annoying behavior, or even start to ban certain groups, there will be a lot of empty planes.

Most parents I encounter on flights try hard to keep their kids quiet and occupied. If you think it sucks to hear a baby cry 8 rows behind you, what do you think the mother feels like? Yeah, there are some kids who are awful and some parents who do nothing to help.

But most babies can’t control their behavior or rationalize they need to be quiet on a plane.

What’s snoring guy’s excuse?

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5 thoughts on “Kid Free Flights? They Ought To Ban Snoring Guy, Too

  1. I think everyone’s more annoying on planes these days. How about Mr. “I Must Make this LAST, BARKING, IMPORTANT PHONE CALL BECAUSE I’M AM TOO IMPORTANT TO WAIT while we sit at the gate” Guy? How about “I’m Loud, I’m Away from My Parents, and I’m Flying in My Pajamas!” Teen Church Camp Group?

    Personally, I’ve been the Annoyer (with the projectile vomiting/weeping 18 m.o.) and the Annoyed (You, the 50-something guy in the leather trench coat who whipped out an electric razor and SHAVED, SEATED NEXT TO ME, MID FLIGHT).

    I think there should be flight rules; HOA, wedding-etiquette, gaited-community, hardcore style. Bring it on!

  2. You know, this could be the next Survivor-Style reality show….who gets voted off the plane for the most annoying behavior. I personally love (not) Mr. Hygiene Challenged (here’s a tip, that odor you’re sporting didn’t come out of a bottle…) and Mr. & Mrs. Card-Shuffling-Can’t-Wait-For-Vegas. See? Annoying is truly in the eye of the beholder. Maybe everyone who boards a plane these days should be issued a voting card. Passengers who don’t comply, or who exhibit the “annoyance du jour” will simply be voted off. And let me tell you, as a traveling mom with little ones (albeit quite awhile ago) excited children on a trip to Disney don’t even scratch the surface. Maybe everyone just needs a dose of reality…oh, and respect for their fellow traveler. PEACE.

  3. As a retired flight attendant of 17 years with 2 different airlines I could tell you stories that would curl your hair! Have seen more than my share of rudeness & disgusting hygiene on an airplane as well as some rather disgusting activities during those “all-nighters” when ignorance is bliss. Actually had an entire family who was taken off of the plane due to odor problems. In their country deodorant didn’t exist. The agent had a hard time explaining to them why they would not be meeting their family and having to call that family in another country to tell them why the family in the states wouldn’t be arriving. It was actually very sad because the Somalis didn’t speak any English. In today’s “all about me” society the major problem is a lack of respect for anything or anyone and a sense of entitlement that their space is just that to do whatever they like. There used to be flight rules about conduct, dress, smoking… printed right there on the ticket jackets that are no longer in use. Political correctness has taken over and led to what we now have as out of control, rude passengers that just don’t get it and think they are owed something every time something goes wrong (the airlines really can’t control the weather). I think the worst passengers are those parents with small children who plug into their ipods and fall asleep while their children wreak havoc on the passengers near them. Of course children never do things while the parents are actually watching! The parents are at peace for 4 hours while no one else is and wonder why they get dirty looks when the plane lands! Crying children were always the least annoying because they usually cry for a reason. On a flight, most of the time it was the ears on takeoff and landing. Once you figure out the reason you could generally take care of it. Rudeness is a little harder to deal with. If you had separate flights for separate groups – good luck trying to find someone to work those flights! A handful every now and then is much better than an entire plane. Maybe a little airplane etiquette class would be more effective.

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