“I’m going to the basement,” my just turned 4-year-old daughter declared.
“Sure,” I said while trying to de-clutter the kitchen.
A few minutes later I heard loud music coming from the karaoke machine and a little voice belt into the microphone:
“I’M FEELIN’ SEXY AND FREEEEE!”
And proceeded to hear my tiny child sing the song “Domino” – (by Jesse J, if you’ve never had the pleasure) complete with lyrics:
Dancing in the moonlight… Take me down like I’m a Domino… Oh baby baby got me feelin’ so right…
I felt sure that a 4-year-old proclaiming her sexiness into a microphone cranked on high would bring protective services to my door in a matter of minutes. So I went charging downstairs. And turned the music off.
“I’m singing,” my child protested.
“I know,” I said. “That’s the problem.”
This is the third child who cannot remember to put away the pile of naked Barbies strewn around her room, but yet has a mind like a steel trap when it comes to lyrics. She can perform “Moves Like Jagger,” “Dynamite” and “Single Ladies”. Not to mention multiple Lady Gaga tunes and “Home” by Phillip Phillips.
It’s my fault, I know I know I know. Reason #324 why I will not receive the ‘Mother of the Year’ award.
She listens to music with her older sister. A little Taylor Swift here, a little Katy Perry there. I thought it was pretty harmless. But after eight years of listening to nursery rhymes, toddler tunes and the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack, we’re finally listening to the radio when we’re all together in the van (I now know too much about Radio Disney). While I have a 9-year-old and a 7-year-old, I seem to have forgotten I still have a 4-year-old sitting in the back. With a really good memory.
As tried to figure out just when I lost all control of the proper upbringing of my child, I had flashbacks of my own history with risqué tunes at a young age. I could sing Rod Stewart (If you want my body and you think I’m sexy..) “Centerfold” by J. Geils Band was in my 45’s collection. Who let me listen to that??
My mother. Aha! The same mother who let me sing “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” by Paul Simon from the back of our station wagon. She also let me listen to the soundtrack of “Jesus Christ Superstar” and a lot of Neil Diamond. So perhaps it all balanced out.
I vowed to find better song selections to prevent my sweet child from turning in Honey Boo Boo’s best friend. Perhaps some 80’s easy listening. So on our way to Target (I’m always going to Target) I flipped the stations. She heard a snippet of one song.
“Go back!” she yelled. “I like this one!”
“I WANNA SCREAM AND SHOUT AND LET IT ALL OUT… “she sang.
Maybe Beauty and the Beast wouldn’t be so bad for a little while longer.