Kid Free Flights? They Ought To Ban Snoring Guy, Too

“We’re going on a plane, going on a play-ane!” sang my almost 5-year-old son Josh as we rushed through the airport at the crack of dawn Wednesday.

After herding three kids, with three suitcases, four backpacks and one car seat to the gate, I had aged ten years and was ready to forget the whole trip to Florida.

We boarded the plane, and my ornery two year old shouted “Leave me alone!” when I tried to nudge her down the aisle.

Yes, I saw the look of horror on your face, lady in 5B. And the couple in 11F, who thought our family of 5, might be in their row. Nice grandpa in 17B took a look at my face and said, “Wow, traveling with kids is a lot of work!”

You betcha, grandpa.

We squeezed onto the packed plane, threatened that there would be no desserts if anyone was loud and fired up the DVD player. I took the first sip of coffee all morning and glanced at the USA Today.

I'd sit with these kids over snoring guy any day

Smack on the front page was a graphic that showed a businessman on a plane, trying to read a paper, while a crazed baby seemed to be attacking him from behind and throwing a Sippy cup.

The headline: “Separate Sections, Anyone?”

The story was all about a growing movement to have kid free flights or have family sections on planes, so other passengers wouldn’t be bothered.

Interesting thought, as I glanced at my crew of 3, engrossed in Phineas & Ferb. I’d like to sit in a different section away from them. Kidding! Sort of.

Crying kids are annoying. I get it. I’ve been there as a singleton, begging the airline gods to seat the approaching child someplace else.

I’ve also been the sweating mother, super conscious of dirty looks, who has tried everything to make a crying child stop.

So, yes I get that kids can be annoying on flights.

But who gets to pick what’s annoying? Can I be on the committee?

Maybe the guy on the plane who falls asleep the instant you take off and proceeds to SNORE in your ear for the next three hours. THAT guy should be banned from the plane.

Or how about the person oblivious to personal hygiene rules? Who not only clips fingernails in his seat (seen it), but proceeds to take off his shoes and socks? I’d like a special section for those people, because that ruins my flight. And my appetite.

Perhaps all space invaders should be seated together. You know the ones who recline their seat back into your legs the instant they can. Or the person who hogs both arm rests. I find that highly annoying.

I’d vote for a special section for everyone who comes on the flight dripping with the latest flu, and spreads it throughout the entire cabin with every cough. Surely I’m not the only one annoyed by that.

See?

If airlines start making special sections for what people perceive to be annoying behavior, or even start to ban certain groups, there will be a lot of empty planes.

Most parents I encounter on flights try hard to keep their kids quiet and occupied. If you think it sucks to hear a baby cry 8 rows behind you, what do you think the mother feels like? Yeah, there are some kids who are awful and some parents who do nothing to help.

But most babies can’t control their behavior or rationalize they need to be quiet on a plane.

What’s snoring guy’s excuse?